Monday, January 7, 2013

The Lies we tell ourselves

I spend a lot of time telling myself things... Things I want to do, things I don't want to do anymore, things I will no longer accept in my life. Problem is, they're all lies. If I want to write a book, why aren't I writing one? If I want to quit smoking, why do I think about buying a pack whenever I'm in the corner store? If I no longer want to obsess about something, why am I still living in Obsession City? Is it just me?

I'm always trying to pinpoint that one thing that will make my choices easier to, well, choose. And then I choose the thing I don't want to choose anymore and beat myself up about it. I live in a constant sea of self-loathing, and guess what? I hate it!

G tells me I'm wonderful, gorgeous, a fantastic mother, and yet I feel like a fraud all the time. I absolutely hate that he doesn't have a job yet and am frustrated that he's trying to start a business that doesn't seem likely to make any damn money anytime soon and he thinks I'm so supportive of his "dream".

What about my dream? Why can't I be the one working from home and trying to make money that's not coming in? Because I'd feel guilty doing it, that's why! I am enraged at his total lack of guilt. Of course, if he felt guilty I'd reassure him and make him feel better but nothing seems to make me feel better.

Even ranting to the universe on my blog doesn't help because I can't even say /rant over/, like so many people do - my rant has only just begun!

How do other people process these types of feelings without sitting down in the muck and just losing it? I feel on the verge of losing it all the time. I don't want to feel like this anymore.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Jan 2

Still sick today but we are starting to feel a little better. There were a couple of actual meals today instead of just random grazing.

My hair's up in a simple ponytail today. Keeping it up is supposed to help protect your hair to let it grow longer, but right now mine's so short I can't do too much with it for a while.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Jan 1

We're sick today - it's the flu. So today has been a lot of couch sitting and movie watching, with plenty of chicken soup.

I put my hair up in this simple french braid to keep the heat off my neck. On the long hair forum I read there's always people challenging themselves to wear their hair up for 30 days or even longer (years!) so I'd like to give it a try.

Here's day 1 - and for fun I played around with Instagram as well.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Welcome to 2011!

Cristal Champagne and Wedgewood
Photo by geishaboy500
Let's all raise our glasses to this new year being better than the old one!

2010

2010 put a lot of strain on my life, in several areas. Mostly this was my own fault and not because I didn't know better. A lot of people I've talked to feel the same way I do about 2010 but seem to think the year was out to get them in some way. I'm pretty sure I invited all the grief I received through my own actions.

There were months of lax budgeting and rampant spending that increased our debt load and months of lax dieting and rampant eating that increased our belly loads. (0_o)

But it's abundantly clear that we can't continue on in the way we've been heading. It's time to turn things around and start fighting the current to head back to higher ground.

2011

So now we're going to try some new things...I've heard good things about YNAB and we've dcecided to give it a shot. We're going to have to force ourselves to track our spending a little better until it becomes a habit, but I think we can do it.

Also, we're going to start meal planning again. Not only will that be better for our waistlines, but it will also save us money if we're not eating out all the time.

I have loads of food bloggers in my Google reader that have tasty, low-cost recipes. I need to start revisiting some of those bookmarks and finding the keepers for my family. I think I want to set up a household notebook that will hold all our favorite recipes as well as keep us on track for all those "once in a while" housekeeping tasks and little things that need to be remembered -- like what size bulb the front porch fixture needs.

So those are my main objectives for 2011: 1) Start using YNAB, 2) Cook at home more, and 3) Make a household notebook. These are the main things I'm going to be working on and getting accomplished this year.

What are your plans for 2011?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Beginnings

Currently the scale is saying 250.4 - entirely too much! I do not like this number and it must come down. The last few weeks the walks have been cancelled due to weather, and we've only averaged 1 walk a week instead of the 3 we're shooting for. Of course, next week is my vacation, so 1 walk may be all I get in - unless I hit the gym at the hotel. And while I might want to do that, it's not very likely. *sigh*

I've been trying to up my water intake, decrease my soda intake, and make healthier choices. Not really a solid plan, more of a gentle nudge. And that may have to be enough for this week. Solid plans can start after we're back home and cooking for ourselves again. This week I did have a win one day when I only drank 12 oz. soda instead of my usual 40-60. Yes, I'm a Coke fiend.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

July 7, 2010

Today is my anniversary and a bit more than halfway through the year. Lately I've been thinking about things that are going on in my life, what I'm happy with, and what I'm not happy with - and I've decided I'm tired of being fat and out of shape.

Next year I'll have been married 10 years, it'll be my 20th high school reunion, and there's so many things I want to do before that. I want to be thin and fit again - re-discover the svelte-ness I took for granted 2 decades ago. Also, I want to finish a triathlon... my mother-in-law did the Danskin Tri this year, and some friends of mine have been encouraging me to do it as well.

I have been walking with a friend 3 times a week for a while now. We have a 2 mile loop through our neighborhood that takes us about 40 minutes, but I really need to step up my game.

I'm off today, due to a family funeral - we just got back into town and have one more day off before back to work, so today will be my planning and prep day. There needs to be a grocery run today as well as laundry and cleaning, and tonight, a relaxing dinner out with my gorgeous hubby. Then tomorrow, back to the grind.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Food Revolution

If you haven't had a chance to see Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution yet, please go to Hulu.com and watch it (you can also find it at abc.com, but it starts playing video immediately, so I didn't want to link it). This show is truly showing what the major problems are with the food system in America and offers a glimmer of hope for the future of one American town.

For the last few years, I've been trying to bring more real foods to my family, cutting out the processed junk and preservatives and I've seen the pizza for breakfast in the public school system. Every day when I look at the choices my daughter has for lunch (usually one healthy-ish and one not so much), I realize she's more likely to pick the worst one if given the choice. So I pack her lunch most days and try to include fruit, veggies, and real food, not chemicals.

Some days I succeed and some days I resolve to do better, as I'm sure we all do sometimes. But just seeing the resistence of the people Jamie is meeting while trying to help them gives me chills. Because I know that I could be just like them. It's easy to justify pulling the frozen nuggets out when there isn't enough time to cook something from scratch. But I also know that I'll be paying the price with my weight, my health, and ultimately my life.

With classes like Home Economics being phased out of schools due to funding, many people graduate and go out on their own without the knowledge of how to prepare a healthy meal or shop for a week's worth of groceries without hitting the freezer aisles. People don't know how to cook a pot of rice or beans, some of the healthiest, lowest-fat foods there is, or even know what all the things in the produce section are.

While I don't know much about Jamie Oliver and what he stands for, I do appreciate this show spotlighting some of the very issues I'm concerned about and I hope the show will open a few eyes to the health concerns that are sweeping our nation.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Menu Plan Monday - 3/22/10

Finally back on schedule with Menu Plan Monday...! Yay! We got a new fridge, and are slowing filling it back up. We got very fed up with take-out, fast food and convenience items while the old fridge was being fritzy, so we've been cooking more than usual and since we started fresh with the condiment shelf, have been having to make a few adjustments to our recipes since the old stand-by's haven't been replaced yet.

Here's what we have planned for the week:

Monday: Beans/Sausage/Rice with greens (need to take the beans out of the freezer!)

Tuesday: Easy Mexican Skillet (saw this recipe on Cooking During Stolen Moments and just had to try it)

Wednesday: Roast and veggies (crock pot recipe from Southern Plate)

Thursday: Stroganoff (leftover roast over noodles with sour cream added to gravy)

Friday: Open for now - maybe breakfast for dinner if we don't go out

Saturday: Stuffed Peppers (also from Southern Plate)

I've been finding lots of great sounding recipes on Southern Plate and saying I'll have to make them sometime -- I decided this is the week.

What are you planning for the week? For more recipes and menu plans, check out Menu Plan Mondays over at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Menu Plan Monday - Not!

I keep meaning to post for Menu Plan Monday (@OrgJunkie if you need ideas for the week) but the last few weeks I've been planning more on Monday afternoons than Sundays. Unfortunately, this week our refrigerator has decided to give up the ghost, so we'll be without fresh foods til Wednesday at the earliest. This puts a huge damper on my menu planning skills.

Yes, I know many people (especially people who like to stockpile and therefore, need to rotate food) would consider this a challenge, to create a few meals without fresh foods... Having the refrigerator die on us has really been a blow to me.

I have come to the realization that while the purchase of a new refrigerator did not hurt us financially, it could have. We scraped together the money using our sparse savings, including some money we had set aside to build a deck this year. We both agreed that increasing our credit load was unacceptable, and managed to get a fridge that we both were happy with, while not spending any excess money that we did not need to.

But it made the pit of my stomach ache. I realize we don't have a large enough emergency fund, we have too large of a credit load, and we aren't doing as much as we can to get out from under our debts and create a solid financial rock to stand on. If Murphy decided to visit us right now, we could find ourselves between a rock and a hard place too easily.

So I've been rethinking our goals for the year, rearranging some priorities, and will be reworking the budget to see where we can trim some fat. I'll be posting some of our numbers and goals here soon so you can follow along, and hopefully cheer us to victory! Wish us luck!!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Menu Plan Monday - March 1 edition

I did manage to write up a meal plan for this week, but I didn't get it done today. Had to get it done today, because I had to make my grocery list and go shopping, because there was very little left in the house! We've had a bit of the respiratory bug that's been going around and there's been little cooking happening here lately, but now that everyone's feeling more like eating regular meals, a restock of the pantry and fridge were crucial!

I decided to ask everyone what their favorite meals were and what they wanted me to cook this week and actually got some responses, which was shocking! So there's some new recipes on the list for this week.

So here's the plan:

Monday: enchiladas (done and they were yummy. This will also be lunches for G for the next couple of days)

Tuesday: Oven-fried Chicken (E's request) with mashed potatoes (according to G, the red ones taste the best mashed)

Wednesday: Beans and Rice (I have some Northern beans cooked and frozen from my last big batch I can throw some ham in)

Thursday: Chicken Fried Steak (I think I've seen a recipe for this on Southern Plate but I have to find it)

Friday: Pizza (I might even try to make my own crust)

Saturday: Open

Sunday: Leftovers or veggie soup

For breakfasts, I'm going to try to either make oatmeal for the troops or cook some sausage and biscuits tomorrow night to heat up for on the road meals.

Lunches will either be leftovers or sandwiches.

Sunday:

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Menu Plan Monday - 2/8

Time for another menu plan - totally forgot to post last week's plan, and ended the week with a lot of leftovers to plow through. *sigh* I'm pretty much the only one who'll eat leftovers in my house, so I've got some lunches saved up. I need to figure out how to cook smaller. Or clean out my freezer so I can start freezing half of what I cook immediately for a later date.

Anyway, my plan for this week includes:

Monday: Salmon with veggies & rice

Tuesday: Leftover Pasta w/meat sauce

Wednesday: Tamales

Thursday: Scrambled eggs or frittata

Friday: Open - might go out for an early Valentine's Dinner

Saturday: Soup

I got some meaty soup bones from a grass-fed beef vender at the local farmer's market this weekend, so I'm going to put those into the crockpot on Saturday (or Friday night) to make a nice, meaty beef broth and then add veggies for a tasty soup.

Visit I'm an Organizing Junkie for more menu ideas on Menu Plan Monday.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Recipe - Turkey Skillet Pasta

Two posts in two days! That might be a record. I wanted to post my recipe for Turkey Skillet Pasta -- although that's a pretty bland name for a recipe, this is a great one! It's my go-to quick dinner on busy nights.

Here's the ingredients - Seasoning, Parmesan Cheese, Pasta, Ground Turkey, Beef Broth, Diced Tomatoes, Zucchini.
Wait! Where are my zucchini?

There they are... whew!

I usually brown a bunch of ground turkey at once and freeze it in 1 lb. packages, but if you don't, go ahead and brown the turkey, drain, and set aside. Or feel free to use ground beef if you'd rather.


Into the pan goes the beef broth...


and the diced tomatoes. Bring to a boil.


Then you can throw in the pasta, and lower heat to a simmer. Cover.


Go ahead and throw a seasoning blend in there. I like my Italian blend, but this recipe is pretty forgiving if you want to mix it up a little. Let that simmer for about 15 minutes, or until the pasta is almost done.


While that's cooking, we can give the zucchini a chop.


After the pasta has simmered for 15 minutes, the ground turkey gets returned to the pan...


and the zucchini gets added. Let the mixture simmer an additional 5 minutes.


A bit of Parmesan cheese sprinkled in while the last bit of moisture is absorbed by the pasta, and the dish is complete! YUM!

I've tried this recipe with a variety of pasta shapes and sizes, as well as subbing in different veggies for the zucchini.

Hope you enjoy!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Menu Plan Monday - 1/25

One of my goals is to participate more regularly in Menu Plan Monday. Of course, this means I'll have to start posting to the blog at least once a week, but we'll see how that goes... lol.

Anyway, this week seems to be a little heavy on the Mexican items, but my hubby loves my enchiladas and the salsa chili recipe is a new one -- I hope we like it!

Here's my plan for the week:

Monday - Enchiladas

Tuesday - Salsa Chili (found this on a healthy eating calendar - might post on this later)
Wednesday - Turkey Skillet Pasta (This is my go-to meal for busy nights)

Thursday - Leftovers

Friday - Soup

Saturday - Bean Burritos

Hopefully I can stick to this meal plan, because that'll help me with my WeightWatchers goals. Breakfasts will be either oatmeal with blueberries or a scrambled egg on an english muffin and lunches will be leftovers. I made a batch of super-easy meatballs the other night and neither G nor E really liked them, so I foresee lots of meatball lunches this week.

Check out Menu Plan Monday over at I'm an Organizing Junkie for more meal plan ideas!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Menu Plan Monday - 11/23

Last week's plan went a little awry due to some stomach distress in the troops. The pancakes and French Toast went over well, but the enchiladas were postponed til later in the week. Luckily, everyone seems to be better this week. Miss Em is out at the grandparents this week due to the Thanksgiving holiday, so I'm just cooking for the two of us.

Monday - Parmesan and Beef Pasta - I usually make this recipe with turkey and zucchini, but I've also subbed green beans and other veggies depending on what's in the fridge.

Tuesday - Green Salad with Chicken Fajita strips - I think it's a good idea to eat light this week before the big Thanksgiving feast.

Wednesday - Tilapia fillets and steamed veggies - I found these great frozen tilapia fillets breaded with a parmesan coating.

Thursday - TURKEY!!

Friday - I'm going to the after Thanksgiving sales so meals will probably be catch as catch can but I might throw some veggie soup in the crockpot.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving is great! Have fun with your families or whomever you choose to celebrate with. Be sure to check out more menu plans at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Clutter Be Gone!

Photo by kevindooley


With the holidays looming on the horizon, I'm starting to feel like my house is drab and dirty. Not so much that it is dirty (it has it's moments) but the clutter is driving me nuts.

It's time to start weeding out the junk and getting rid of it. We've toyed with the idea of having a garage sale but getting it all sorted and tagged, then spending the day hauling it out to the driveway doesn't appeal to us. Better to sort through it in our spare time and either try to sell it online or simply donate it.

Once we've cleared out some of the clutter, it will be easier to start decorating for the holidays. I'd like to get the decorations out a bit at a time so it's not such a big project.

This year I'm going to get an artificial tree. We prefer real, but usually don't get to the tree farm until right before Christmas. I don't really feel the Christmas spirit without the tree so waiting makes my holiday season feel very short. I'm rushed at the last minute to get it all together.

I'd like to have my tree up in the dining room early and we can put the real tree up in the living room later.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Menu Plan Monday: 11/16

I really did not feel like cooking this weekend, so we coped with some frozen dinners and tuna sandwiches. Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things this week because I don't think I can pull that one off again without the troops complaining.

Tomorrow I'll head to the store for milk and some produce, but other than that I'm really going to try to eat from the freezer. I'll try to mix freezer things in with some of the guys' favorite meals. They really love breakfast for dinner!

Monday: Pancakes

Tuesday: Enchiladas w/ salad

Wednesday: Chicken breasts w/ veggies and rice

Thursday: Eggs & French Toast

Friday: Chicken pot pie

Saturday: Sandwiches & Soup

Check out OrgJunkie for more menu ideas.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Menu Plan Monday - Oct 5

Wow - Busy week! I'm running a bit behind on my menu this week but here's the tentative plan:

T - Ravioli
W - Salad with fajita chicken
Th - Mac and cheese with tuna
F - Beans and cornbread
S - Chicken pasta salad

Last week we stayed pretty well on plan. We didn't manage the beans and cornbread because I didn't get out the crockpot in time to soak the beans - so they're back this week. We'll see how it goes.

One thing I did this week was cook ahead for the weeks coming. I've seen info on once-a-month cooking (OAMC) on other sites, but I particularly like the plan set out by Menu Maker Mom in integrating cooking ahead into the weekly meal plan. I picked up a ham on my last trip to the store and cooked up her ham plan #2. Everything looks so yummy I can't wait to try them out!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Menu Plan Monday - Sept 28

This is the first week in a while I've taken the time to plan my week's meals -- Hopefully we'll be able to stay on track and this will help us be less frazzled at meal times!

Sunday - Roast chicken and cornbread (I picked up a precooked chicken while I was shopping -- so easy!!)

Monday - Ham, biscuits, green beans

Tuesday - Mushroom chicken, rice

Wednesday - Tuna salad and crackers

Thursday - Beans and cornbread

Friday - Enchiladas

Saturday - Ravioli, artichokes

Be sure to check the roundup at I'm an Organizing Junkie for lots more ideas to answer the question, "What's for dinner?"

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Summer's Over - Are you ready for Winter??

After a summer of play, cooler temperatures and evenings filled with homework rather than family activities turns my thoughts to preperation for the cold winter months. Most years I toss a few things into the freezer and buy a few more canned goods at the store, without much thought to their use.

This year, not only have I been reading a few preparedness websites and blogs, but I've also noticed some of the things I tossed in the freezer last year are still in there. Things are looking a little freezer burned and unappetizing. I realize that stocking up without a plan only results in loss - lost food and lost money.

My goal for this year is to create my food storage and stockpile plan to get the maximum use out of it - not wasted efforts. I'm starting by cleaning out and inventorying my freezer. That way I can work the items that have been hiding in the back into my weekly meal plans before they go to waste as well. This will keep me from duplicate buying at the store as well.

After I inventory the fridge freezer and the chest freezer, I'll clear out and organize the pantry, keeping a close eye on expiration dates and using things when they are still fresh and tasty. Then adding items to round out our storage should help us keep our grocery budget steady and our family prepared.

Some blogs I've relied on for stockpile info have been:

Food Storage Made Easy: great info on getting your storage started - they also are a part of a blog network with more great information on cooking with food storage and buying food storage.

Safely Gathered In: great recipes from food storage as well as basic cooking skills

iPrepared: great posts on storage details

Monday, May 11, 2009

Cooking from Scratch While Working 40 Hours a Week


The Passage of Time
Originally uploaded by ToniVC
Read any article or blog post about cutting expenses and saving money, and "cooking from scratch" instead of eating out or ordering in is likely to be on the list of tips. Truthfully, a cart of groceries can go farther and cost less than a couple of nights of restaurant fare. But how do you cook from scratch every night when you are working 40 (or more) hours a week without tearing out your hair and calling the pizza guy??

In a word - planning.

Everyone should have at least one or two dead-simple meals they can throw together, but on a busy night when you only have minutes isn't the time to try to think of them or figure out if you have all the necessary ingredients.

You'll need to find a few minutes of quiet time to make a plan, even if it's the last half of a lunch hour spent at your desk. I try to take some time on Sunday afternoons after lunch when we all go our separate ways to work on our own projects.

What I do is write down 5 dinners. Two should be so easy I could cook them in 20 minutes while supervising homework. Another might be a simple grilled meat that can be used in a different way on a second night. I like chicken breasts and thighs for this.

Another few minutes deciding which day to have each menu (easy meals on busy days) or I can play it by ear, deciding as I see how my schedule pans out. A quick check of my plan the night before or the morning of and I can pull things out of the freezer as needed.

Once I have my main dishes planned, a side dish or two rounds out the meal and I create my shopping list. A quick peek in my pantry to see what I have already or what substitutions could be made in a pinch and I'm off to the store.

If any of this process seems confusing or too much work, I'll be posting a few more tips this week for those times in your life when even 15 minutes of planning is asking too much (I've been there too).

Also, look for a post in the near future on cooking from scratch when you don't really cook.